used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
