my room smells like sperm. sweet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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