In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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