So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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