The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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