I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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