I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
