Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
