HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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