Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
