Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
