Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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