Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
