I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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