you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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