ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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