Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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