I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
