I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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