His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
