I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
