she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
