thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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