Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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