Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
