Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can I color on your dick again?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
