I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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