hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
