Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
