He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize