where am i from again
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
