sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize