He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
