I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Randomize
