are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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