I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
