do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
