I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
They took my balls.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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