Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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