Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
