Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
