Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
