i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
