I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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