Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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