I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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