New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
