is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
