so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
