I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
