I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
