i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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