People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
