I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
