Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
