Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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