walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
