and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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