Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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