i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
two words...techno handjob
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize