Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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