what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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