she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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