I think my fart just growled at me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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