clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
