I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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