hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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