plz talk dirty to me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
