I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
In America we eat man semen.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
