remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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