I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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