He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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