I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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