The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
