Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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