she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize