Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
