I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
