oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
