This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
