Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
