I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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