i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You smell like stripper and shame
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
