I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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