weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
